In today's fast paced life we hardly get time and opportunity to laugh. They say laughing is the best medicine HENCE this is my effort to make world laugh at this prankster jokes. Enjoy the life and laugh out loud.
This hot chick walks up to the bartender and says in a sexy seductive voice,
"May I please speak to your manager?"
Bartender says, "Not right now, can I help you?"
She replies, "I don't know if you’re the man to talk to...its kind of personal..."
Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm cock sure I can handle your problem lady."
She then looks at him with a seductive smile, and leans out and starts running her finger
& wiping them on his beard in a sexy rhythm then Runs them all over his face then puts
two of her fingers in his mouth............He loves the act and romantically starts
sucking them, thinking deep within that he is through!
She then whispers in his ears, "Can you tell the manager something for me?"
"Oh Sure! Love" Says the bartender feeling on top of the world.
"Tell him that there's no toilet paper in the ladies toilet"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall
asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that
Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.
“Watson, you FUCKING idiot, It means...........someone has stolen our tent.”
Home minister is giving the president his daily briefing. He Concludes by saying:
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident'
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
The staff is stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching.
The President sits, head in hands, Nervous. Then finally he looks up at the home minister
and asks.......... .....................
I know Million, I know billion, I know Trillion BUT how much is the FUCKIN' BRAZILLION?????????!!!!!!!!!!'
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two
female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest asks.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?!"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know, I have two male talking parrots that I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Joseph
and Jordon. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots
are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.
"Thank you Father," the woman said, "this I think is the BEST solution."
The very next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he took her
in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and
praying. Impressed by the site, she walked over and placed her female parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out together looking at both male parrots: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,
"Put the beads away, Joseph, our prayers have been answered!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah (in bible) was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".